Spanking Bethie

All about my spankings and my love

12/15/2005

Spanking Utensil Theories

As some of you already know, I have issues letting my cooking utensils do double duty as spanking toys. And if you’ve been reading Spanking Blog, you’ve already read my theory about butt oil.

I believe in butt oil despite all of Dan’s logical arguments…and believe me, he has plenty! LOL But the real question for me is, do I really want to take the chance that I might be wrong?

Even if there is just a teeny tiny drop of truth in my theory of butt oil, it’s enough for me. In my mind, I might as well scramble my eggs with our riding crop, cut veggies on the CB paddle, and use the canes for toasting marshmallows at the next cookout. Hmmm maybe using the canes that way might not be a bad idea if I can get away with tossing them in the fire afterward…but I digress.

I really don’t think there should be any cross over between cooking utensil and spanking implements. Even in my butt oil theory is a little off, it still isn’t right. My argument for this stand? It’s just gross! I never professed to make logical arguments btw. *wink*

I just wish I could get Dan to quit laughing at me about this. And now Patty has decided to add to my already overactive imagination about this issue by posting her thoughts on it. She said she’s

wondering about all those bare bottom skin cells that could be trapped in the crevices of the wok spatula Fred used on me not three weeks ago.

Trapped bum skin cells? Aaackk! I never even thought of that! Ohhhh will the torture never end? LOL

I need to come up with a plan now. I think I should go and buy every solid wooden spoon I can find and as Dan spanks me with any working spoon, I can replace it immediately before contamination can take place. The problem is what do I do with all those used spoons? We only have so much space in our toy box and Dan loves to spank me with those things. The number of useless spoons in our house could get ridiculous.

Could I start a home for displaced kitchen utensils? Or maybe have them sanded down until I’m sure the butt oil and bum cells are completely gone and then donate them to a soup kitchen? But then they’d use them for cooking…Yuck! Never mind that doesn’t sound right either.

Maybe I should decorate them and get Dan to sign them then give them away to our spanko friends out there in cyber space. Christmas is coming up, you know. As long as I include a disclaimer about butt oil and bum cells that may be attached to the spoon, I might get a few takers. Surely some of our spanko friends would be kind enough to give an orphaned spoon a home? Hmmm I wonder if Spankmewithaspoon would be willing to take a few?

If nothing else, I won’t have a growing stack of kitchen utensils overflowing my home. Now wouldn’t that be embarrasing if someone found them? I can hear one of my sisters now. “Why do you have this big box of wooden spoons shoved in the back of your closet? Hey, you have more than one box…geez! What are you doing with all these spoons?!?”

Anyone want a used spanking spoon?

Filed under: Blog entries — Bethie @ 10:42 am
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