Spanking Bethie All about my spankings and my love


Spanking Utensil Theories

Filed under: Blog entries — Bethie @ 10:42 am

As some of you already know, I have issues letting my cooking utensils do double duty as spanking toys. And if you’ve been reading Spanking Blog, you’ve already read my theory about butt oil.

I believe in butt oil despite all of Dan’s logical arguments…and believe me, he has plenty! LOL But the real question for me is, do I really want to take the chance that I might be wrong?

Even if there is just a teeny tiny drop of truth in my theory of butt oil, it’s enough for me. In my mind, I might as well scramble my eggs with our riding crop, cut veggies on the CB paddle, and use the canes for toasting marshmallows at the next cookout. Hmmm maybe using the canes that way might not be a bad idea if I can get away with tossing them in the fire afterward…but I digress.

I really don’t think there should be any cross over between cooking utensil and spanking implements. Even in my butt oil theory is a little off, it still isn’t right. My argument for this stand? It’s just gross! I never professed to make logical arguments btw. *wink*

I just wish I could get Dan to quit laughing at me about this. And now Patty has decided to add to my already overactive imagination about this issue by posting her thoughts on it. She said she’s

wondering about all those bare bottom skin cells that could be trapped in the crevices of the wok spatula Fred used on me not three weeks ago.

Trapped bum skin cells? Aaackk! I never even thought of that! Ohhhh will the torture never end? LOL

I need to come up with a plan now. I think I should go and buy every solid wooden spoon I can find and as Dan spanks me with any working spoon, I can replace it immediately before contamination can take place. The problem is what do I do with all those used spoons? We only have so much space in our toy box and Dan loves to spank me with those things. The number of useless spoons in our house could get ridiculous.

Could I start a home for displaced kitchen utensils? Or maybe have them sanded down until I’m sure the butt oil and bum cells are completely gone and then donate them to a soup kitchen? But then they’d use them for cooking…Yuck! Never mind that doesn’t sound right either.

Maybe I should decorate them and get Dan to sign them then give them away to our spanko friends out there in cyber space. Christmas is coming up, you know. As long as I include a disclaimer about butt oil and bum cells that may be attached to the spoon, I might get a few takers. Surely some of our spanko friends would be kind enough to give an orphaned spoon a home? Hmmm I wonder if Spankmewithaspoon would be willing to take a few?

If nothing else, I won’t have a growing stack of kitchen utensils overflowing my home. Now wouldn’t that be embarrasing if someone found them? I can hear one of my sisters now. “Why do you have this big box of wooden spoons shoved in the back of your closet? Hey, you have more than one box…geez! What are you doing with all these spoons?!?”

Anyone want a used spanking spoon?


  1. ROFLM*O!!!!!!! That’s so freakin’ hilarious.. You’re awesome. *G*!

    Comment by rivka — 12/15/2005 @ 11:13 pm

  2. Awww this is just TOO funny!!!!!!

    Happy Spankin!! :o)

    Comment by make_me — 12/16/2005 @ 12:50 am

  3. Rivka, thanks for the compliment! 🙂

    Make_me, thank you, as well! 🙂

    I haven’t been updating as regularly as I should (but I’m back at it now) so it’s good to know y’all are still here! Thanks!

    Comment by Bethie — 12/16/2005 @ 10:37 am

  4. I had to chuckle at this post…and I agree with you, Bethie. The thought of kitchen/cooking utensils doing double duty as spanking implements is not appealing at ALL.

    I mean, I gack over a stray hair in my food…imagining butt related *stuff* in my food is too much!

    It is funny, however, to realize that other people have the same reluctance over it that I do — I just never thought out my revulsion in detail, to include “butt oil” or “bum skin cells”. Oh horrors!

    I have wooden spoons for spanking, and then wooden spoons for cooking and the same for hairbrushes (I thought I was the only on that did that!!!) 😛

    Again, thanks for the chuckle….

    Holiday Cheers,

    poiesia 🙂

    Comment by poiesia — 12/16/2005 @ 11:40 am

  5. ROTFLMAO!!! That’s just hilarious. And by the way, I couldn’t agree more! I don’t feel so bad about the three-pack of spoons I bought – of which, only two have ever made it to the kitchen. 😀

    Comment by Mary — 12/16/2005 @ 1:45 pm

  6. of course, what you do is, you get one of those pretty canister thingies, and you paint the handle end of “spanky spoons” with red rings 9just a couple) and they go in the canister.. to look pretty! and right there in the kitchen too! nobody ever uses the “pretty” spoons right?

    so, you have some decor, you have your spanky spoons surreptitiously ensconced in your kitchen, and NO migrating butt oil!

    ta daa!

    (butt oil doesn’t bother me, so i just chuck my spoons back in the drawer with all the others… )

    Comment by mikki — 12/16/2005 @ 2:33 pm

  7. Oh but Bethie,,, think about the secret knowledge you will have about that ‘je ne ce qua” your recipies have….

    Just what is it that makes Bethie’s chili so different? I just can’t quite put my finger on it. Oh please dear, do give me a hint, pleeeeeezzzzzeeee just a hint what is your secret ingredient darling….

    hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe You could bottle it too “H’uil de la Bethie butt” Two versions, strained and pure, or with cells. Definately heat pressed though, so no extra vergin there… hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe


    Comment by patty — 12/16/2005 @ 5:26 pm

  8. awww my comment got lost. 🙁

    Comment by patty — 12/16/2005 @ 5:27 pm

  9. so did mine. 🙁

    Comment by poiesia — 12/16/2005 @ 7:27 pm

  10. Sorry, about the comments, ladies! They were sent into moderation for some reason. I’ve been fighting the comment spammers again and I’m not sure what new setting I have that sent your comments into moderation. But I caught them!

    Thanks for all the suggestions and compliments!

    Poiesia, great kinky minds think alike, right? 😉

    Mary, I saw a pack of spoons today and wondered how many packs I’d have to buy in order to keep up with the demand. 😉

    mikki, I might have to try that idea…but I’d need a really big canister. Dan seems to think he has to “break-in” the spoons as fast as I bring them in. Hmph!

    Patty! Bottle it? Ewwwww! LOLOLOL!

    Comment by Bethie — 12/17/2005 @ 12:04 am

  11. Over here we have 99 cent stores which sell the wooden spoons three to a pack. Like magnifying eyeglasses, I refuse to go looking for them and hide them stretegically around the house. Your gift to me sounds tempting, but maybe you could do like a trophy wall using them as paneling. Or make a Howard Stern type robo spanker. Or maybe an art piece tying a ribbon around each one to which is attached a photo the “damage” it affected, or a sweet poem memorializing the historic thrash. Wishing you and yours the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by spankmewithaspoon — 12/17/2005 @ 5:32 am

  12. Bethie,

    I totally support your butt oil theory and the separation of work and play implements. With that said, my husband and I have been laughing about this topic for days.

    He says that butt oil will come in handy when it comes time to fry my bottom. I don’t even want to think about the extraction process!

    Anyhoo, thanks to you, Dan, and Patty for a delightfully funny subject.

    Comment by Bonnie — 12/17/2005 @ 7:17 am

  13. Spankme, awww c’mon, be a pal and take some of these spoons off my hands! Thanks for the “helpful” suggestions though. :-p

    Bonnie, Dan’s mentioned “cooking” my bottom as well. Do you think we should buy them some nice frilly aprons or would that be a guarantee for getting over-cooked, possibly scorched, bottoms? 😆

    Comment by Bethie — 12/17/2005 @ 10:13 am

  14. Bethie,

    In exchange for the sight of our men wearing precious pink aprons, a little scorching might just be a bargain.

    It occurs to me that we wouldn’t want just anyone getting hold of our butt oil. I suggest we organize a butt oil cartel.

    Comment by Bonnie — 12/17/2005 @ 8:48 pm

  15. Bonnie, I think a butt oil cartel is an excellent idea! But somehow I doubt these men of ours would approve. 😉

    Comment by Bethie — 12/22/2005 @ 9:23 am

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