Spanking Bethie All about my spankings and my love


My Rambling Thoughts On Submission

Filed under: Blog entries — Bethie @ 9:02 pm


Okay, I know I’ve been a little lazy about posting lately. I’ve just been spending so much time over at the Den that sometimes I get all talked out and can’t come up with anything to blog about here.

So today, after I posted a long and rambling post about submission in answer to a query, I decided to post it here as well. Even though it’s not all that coherant, it’s really about how I feel.

My post:

Submission can be different for many people. It can depend on your relationship and your personality types.

For me, my submission is a gift I give willingly, lovingly, and with passion. I trust him with everything that I am and will be. We’re in love and live together, with him as the dominant parther or HOH (Head of Household), so our lifestyle is a real-life 24/7 relationship. We live this lifestyle with all the daily grind stuff that comes up and have been very happy for the last couple of years. Maybe that still puts us in the “honeymoon” phase of our relationship, but since this isn’t a first relationship for either of us, we have a little experience in this.

What we don’t have is a regimented lifestyle, we just live it as part of our normal daily life. It’s such a part of who we are personality-wise that it’s only natural. It’s hard to say exactly what I do because it’s so much of who I am, but I’ll try to explain as best I can.

I give him my submission and he gives me a hand to hold onto no matter what. He gives me the support I need to go out into the world and be the person that I am. He supports me in every way and by that, he allows me to flourish because I know I have a rock solid foundation to hold me up and a man who loves me completely and without reservation behind me every step of the way.

My submission isn’t just about cooking, cleaning, or taking care of him, it’s about giving him respect, love, and my acceptance of his power as a dominant man. We nurture those personality traits in each other that make us what we are. Him as the dominant one and me as the submissive one.

As part of my submission, I do what I can to show him I respect his dominance and accept it willingly. I don’t get smart-mouthed with him (okay, only occasionally, very mildly and playfully when teasing him), ridicule him, or do things I know he won’t appreciate. That’s one way I practice my submission, by being a supportive, caring, and respectful partner.

Dan practices a quiet sort of domination. He’s a big bear of a man so it’s easy to feel submissive to him, but there’s also a certain current running through him that gives him that dominant air. He doesn’t have to get physical to show his dominance, he can just give me a look and I go right into sub mode. And there’s a certain tone he uses that just turns me into subbie putty because it gets to me everytime.

He’s also very good with the compliments. I love sitting at his feet while he pets my head and talks to me. And if he calls me a good girl, I almost purr.

And he doesn’t run our life without my input either, he’s always thinking of me and always asks my opinion about things. He looks out for me every chance he gets and reminds me often that he just wants to take care of me. I can be hard to take care of sometimes though, then he has to “remind” me how important I am to him.

Dan guides me in my submission by giving me limits and guidelines to follow. I bow to his dominance by following those guidelines and I express my gratitude for his willingness to take on this responsibility by showing him the respect he deserves.

I have given him the right to take me in hand when I need it. He knows this is a special gift and he’d never abuse it. He’s always been very consistent so I don’t ever have to wonder where I stand with him. I know what my limits are and I do my best to stay within them. He knows what to do if I start slipping and brings me back on course. I appreciate that because it makes me feel safe and keeps me centered.

I don’t know if all this rambling will make any sense to anyone, but it’s how I feel. I love Dan with all my being and my submission to him is just a natural part of that love.

Photo courtesy of Martha’s Girls at Retro Raunch.


  1. Oh my, Love, I’m blushing here!

    I was going to make a flip joke about abusing your special gift “just a little bit” — which I admit I sometimes do, I love that little outraged screech it gets me — but perhaps not. Love you!

    Comment by Dan — 6/9/2006 @ 10:50 am

  2. Bethie,

    That’s a beautiful description. Thank you for sharing it with us!

    Comment by Bonnie — 6/9/2006 @ 5:39 pm

  3. Very well put, Bethie! Thank you for the insight. It’s wonderful to love what you love for the right reasons!

    Comment by weasel — 6/10/2006 @ 8:12 am

  4. Thanks for this, Bethie. It made perfect sense to me and was helpful for some of my own questions as far as Dominant/submissive relationships.

    Comment by SpankedTeacher — 6/12/2006 @ 12:15 am

  5. Weasel and SpankedTeacher, thank you both! I appreciate you both. 🙂

    Comment by Bethie — 6/13/2006 @ 11:13 pm

  6. I have lurked about this blog since it began. I’m quite young and completely in love, and am having a beautiful time watching my own relationship naturally take its course–hopefully one day maturing into something as sublime as what you two have…

    I am so happy reading your interactions/posts/etc., because they really have made me feel (over the few years) “permitted” to fully-explore and also to allow my own inner desires and dreams to come to fruition. It’s been frightening at times, since I’ve been so condemned when people happen to learn about our relationship dynamics. There’s the guilt and the doubt and the wondering (if it’s nothing more than some sort of fetish that is better off psychoanalyzed away!).

    Thank you for creating a medium in which to interact and share with others in such a “user-friendly,” humourous, charming, sexy, and poignant way! Words (written late at night while stricken with insomnia and dosed with anti-anxiety medications) cannot convey how cathartic and enlightening this community has been to me–even as a lurker :)!

    Thanks…this confused little college student would have been even more lost had she not stumbled upon these blogs….

    Comment by Roxanne — 6/14/2006 @ 2:11 am

  7. Roxanne, thank you! I always appreciate it when a lurker comes out to say “hi” to me. I understand your journey, I’ve been there. Take care, sweetie! 🙂

    Comment by Bethie — 6/14/2006 @ 6:07 pm

  8. i am new to being a good sub but i have a wonderful teacher thank you for your input i want to read all i can to find out more

    Comment by just me — 6/17/2006 @ 8:47 pm

  9. Very well said!!!

    Comment by tammy — 6/20/2006 @ 9:28 am

  10. just me, I’m glad you have a good teacher and good luck as you learn and grow.

    Tammy, thank you! 🙂

    Comment by Bethie — 6/24/2006 @ 2:28 am

  11. Hi Bethie!!

    Thanks for this post… lately it seems that my constant, sole purpose is my search to explore, understand, and accept my own need for submission. I’ve written thousands of words about this on my own blog, approaching the subject from every possible angle, or so I thought. But I tend to overanalyze everything in my life and you have made that yet again abundantly clear. THANK YOU!

    Thank you for you simplicity, your concise anility to tackle this issue and make it clean and neat and tidy, at least on paper. Though we all know that it isn’t nearly so simple in real life, you’ve taken out the fear factor… the fear of self, by encouraging faith and trust in the dominant.

    I couldn’t possible have said any of this nearly so well. By the way, I’m now linked to your site and will be revisiting at every opportunity. I can’t wait to work my way through your archives…


    Comment by Tigger — 6/30/2006 @ 7:14 am

  12. Thank you Bethie,

    i have been a real life submissive in a D/s relationship now for almost 4 years. and have been quietly following your blog since you began. (smiles) this post on submission has described what this one herself has lacked the proper words to express.

    Comment by pleasure — 7/23/2006 @ 5:45 pm

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